Heritage Florida Jewish News - Central Florida's Independent Jewish Voice

Scene Around

 

August 11, 2017

Laurence

Do you remember?...

The following (in part) was sent to my editor from LAURENCE MORRELL and was passed on to me. (The original author is unknown).

Growing up Jewish...

If you are Jewish, and grew up in a city with a large Jewish population, the following will invoke heartfelt memories.

(I grew up in Brooklyn, N.Y. with a super large Jewish population!)

The Yiddish word for today is PULKES (PUHL-kees). Translation: THIGHS. Please note: this word has been traced back to the language of one of the original Tribes of Israel, the Cellulites.

The only good advice that your Jewish mother gave you was: "Go! You might meet somebody!"

You grew up thinking it was normal for someone to shout "Are you okay?" through the bathroom door when you were in there longer than 3 minutes.

(I still do this!)

Your family dog responded to commands in Yiddish.

(My family dog just doesn't respond to any commands that don't come from her deceased "Daddy" Irv.)

Every Sunday afternoon was spent visiting your grandparents and/or other relatives.

(We ate Chinese food on Sundays!)

You experienced the phenomenon of 50 people fitting into a 10-foot-wide dining room hitting each other with plastic plates trying to get to a deli tray.

You had at least one female relative who penciled on eyebrows, which were always asymmetrical.

You never knew anyone whose last name didn't end in one of 5 standard suffixes (berg, baum, man, stein and witz).

(Until I met my Irving Yousha...a Sephardic Jew!)

You can look at gefilte fish and not turn green.

When your mother smacked you really hard, she continued to make you feel bad for hurting her hand.

You can understand Yiddish but you can't speak it.

You know how to pronounce numerous Yiddish words and use them correctly in context, yet you don't know exactly what they mean.

(Kaynahurra.)

You thought speaking loud was normal.

You considered your bar or bat mitzvah a "Get out of Hebrew School Free" card.

You think eating half a jar of dill pickles is a wholesome snack.

You're compelled to mention your grandmother's "steel cannonballs" upon seeing fluffy matzo balls served at restaurants.

Your mother or grandmother took personal pride when a Jew was noted for some accomplishment (showbiz, medicine, politics, etc.) and was ashamed and embarrassed when a Jew was accused of a crime as if they were relatives.

You thought only non-Jews went to sleep-away colleges. Jews went to city schools... unless they had scholarships or made an Ivy League school.

And finally, you knew that Sunday night and the night after any Jewish holiday was designated for Chinese food.

(See? I told you so!) Zei gezunt!!

A super talent...

This was sent to NANCY LUDIN from SONJA MARCHESANO, vice president of the Orlando Jazz Society, and forwarded on to me to pass along to you:

"Put on your dancing shoes or sit back and relax and enjoy the music. The Orlando Jazz Society will be kicking off their 2017-18 season on Sunday, Aug. 27th with a dinner dance at Dubsdread Country Club from 4-7 p.m. 

The festivities include a buffet supper, a cash bar and prizes galore. The couvert is $45.

DAVY JONES on trumpet, and his fabulous band will bedazzle participants with their wonderful talent and ability to improvise. Proceeds of the event benefit the Central Florida Jazz Society Scholarship Fund."

JCC39ers last minute program change...

Because of some discrepancy, the program originally planned for the recent JCC 39ers meeting was changed. Instead, SHELDON BROOK showed another of his wonderful videos. This one was titled "Broadway Musicals, A Jewish Legacy" and was quite entertaining.

(I felt tears form in my eyes when the video covered musical genius, George Gershwin, his super talent and his early death from a brain tumor. Songs of today can't compare!)

Wow Wednesdays...

On Aug. 23rd, the JCC 39ers will present "Pillars of the Past," an in-depth look at many of our earliest leaders from the patriarchs and matriarchs with Rabbi MICHOEL RENNERT. Lunch is included.

RSVP to ROBIN MERKEL at register@orlandojcc.org by the Monday before.

Shout out...

I've written about her before but, because she is so proficient and pleasant, she is worthy of many mentions! I'm talking about CHELSEA HOSTETLER, a waitress at the Perkins Restaurant on University (near Forsythe Road) in Winter Park. Three cheers for you Chelsea! You are the BEST!!

One for the road...

Max was talking to Louie. "Did you know that I'm one of 18 children?" 

Louie said, "No, I didn't. Why do you think your parents had so many children?" 

Max replies, "The problem was that my mom was hard of hearing. When mom and dad went to bed each night, dad would ask, "Do you want to go to sleep, or what?" 

And mom would say, "What?"

 

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