Heritage Florida Jewish News - Central Florida's Independent Jewish Voice

Here We Go Again! (Written by me.)

Oh heavens No! Another poem!

Enough already with staying home,

I'm tired of cooking my own dinner,

(A meal at Outback is a winner!)

Amusement Parks are open now,

As Press, I go for free (and how!)

And seeing friends I've hung around,

I miss so badly, I'm loony bound.

Thanks to SNL and Dr. Phil,

So many hours they did fill,

Without my TV I'd go bats,

Except for my sweet dog (and cats),

They kept me happy up till now,

I learned to speak "woof" and "meow",

I even lost my Brooklyn speak,

(I'll get it back within a week!)

Now all I need is a handsome man,

Will my thighs look thinner with a tan?

(I started out as a professional dancer but now all the muscle on my once beautiful legs have turned to flab! OY VAY!)

Anyway, Universal Park opened recently. So did SeaWorld and Disney World's opening is in the works and should be opening soon.

Never again has become again and again!...

I read this recently in a Simon Wiesenthal Center bulletin:

"To raise global awareness of the rise of anti-Semitic attacks in the U.S. and abroad, the SWC launched a hard-hitting ad campaign, Never Again has Become Again and Again, which aired during prime time.

Millions of viewers saw the ad on CNN and Fox News in selected cities.

The Center is on the frontlines, working 365 days a year to fight back and protect Jews and communities against this growing scourge of anti-Semitism and will not stop until Again and Again becomes Never Again." AGAIN!

Speaking of Frontline (?)...

The other night I watched a show called Frontline on UCF TV. It caught my interest because of the title: "Holocaust, the Last Survivors."

The first image on the television screen was horrific...a pile of dead bodies, some nude, all thin and all very, very dead! They were scenes from Bergen- Belsen and Auschwitz.

(Where was God? Even plain sightseeing in the camps offended me.

Then, there was a narrative about the trains that brought Jews to Auschwitz. Talk about man's inhumanity to man... many people's bodies were thrown from the train along the way and once it arrived people were directed to line up on the left (which meant they would survive) and many, especially elderly and children under a certain age, were sent directly to the gas chamber.

(I'd better NOT meet up with a Holocaust denier. As old as I am, I will punch them in the jaw and worse!)

I fear this rise in anti-Semitism will happen again. Not fear for me as I will probably no longer exist. But I fear for my children and grandchildren.

(Please Lord, Never Again!)

An email from Alan...

ALAN ROCK, I refer to.

It seems that all live music has been cancelled till further notice.

He explained that during this pandemic all live jazz venues are closed, no live music.

However, your radio station, WUCF, 89.9 FM, is still broadcasting Jazz.

(I'm hoping that by the time you read this, the pandemic will no longer be a threat and musical shows will be open. If so, disregard this notice!)

Forget your troubles...

On my computer email, I received an unusual one from the Winter Park Playhouse. It made me laugh out loud! (Something I haven't done in more than 4 months at home.)

It led me to YouTube and at least 10 funny events. One even included former president BARAK OBAMA speaking to the audience at his final White House Correspondence Dinner. He was so clever and humorous in his speech and his delivery was as a professional comedian!

(WOW...I needed some fun in my life!)

The Roth Family Maitland

JCC...

Things are opening up... some slower than others for safety, of course.

The pool will be open from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. (Mon-Thur), and 9 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. on weekends. They will cap the number of people allowed in the pool at the same time, and the deck is set up for social distancing.

The Fitness Center (compete with all new cardio equipment featuring built-in TV screens) is open. There are 90-minute workout sessions scheduled in advance, followed by a closure for 30 minutes for cleaning, and then another 90-minute workout session. Read all the details, including how to schedule a workout session, on our Fitness FAQ page. 

Please phone 407-645-5933 for all information.

Shout-Out...

The best hands we could ever be in under the circumstances, and someone I wish would run for president, KEITH DVORCHIK, is getting my shout-out because he certainly deserves it!

Former president Barak Obama

(With or without the beard!)

One for the road...

Joshua is mega-rich and is always lavishing expensive presents on his wife, Naomi. But today, Joshua is in big trouble. He has forgotten that it's their wedding anniversary. Oy Vay!

Naomi looks him in his eyes and says, in a very serious manner, "Tomorrow, Joshua, there had better be something for me outside our garage that goes from 0 to 200 in next to no time at all, or else..." 

Naomi gets up early next morning, opens her front door and finds a small package outside the garage. She opens it and finds, of all things, brand new bathroom scales. 

The funeral is on Sunday and Naomi is sitting shivah for the whole week.